Wednesday 4 August 2010

The Terrible Twos

I've been feeling like a terrible parent a lot recently. I keep losing my temper and really shouting at Felix. I realise I am probably still setting my expectations of his capabilities and cooperation too high, but knowing this hasn't yet worked in changing my behaviour.

I can't decide what has led to my loss of patience. Is it the pregnancy hormones? Or the fact I've been busy working? Has this interfered with quality time spent with him to such an extent that he absolutely cannot behave for me now? Is his behaviour actually getting worse or is it just my tolerance levels?

I'm desperate to find the time to re-read some of Toddler Taming. Hopefully, this will do the same for me as the first time I read it. Remind me that he is NOT an adult and cannot be expected to behave like one. That his behaviour is perfectly normal and I have to get more clever if I want to manipulate it. And mainly, to remind me to remain calm and patient.

I want to provide a few examples of what he's been doing to make me so angry, but I know that all will sound pathetic once written down. It's things like, getting ALL of his toys out at once (see, pathetic - ALL kids do that, right?) and throwing unwanted food on the floor (doesn't really take long to clean up, does it?) and ignoring me as I try to pleasantly distract and entice him away from doing something I really don't want him to do, until I have to march over to him and physically remove him from the activity.

It's getting me down. I get cross with myself for getting cross with him. And then I try to make up for it by spending time playing with him and he rejects my attempts, pushes me away and makes me cross again. Then I get upset. It's becoming a bit of a repetitive circle.

5 comments:

  1. I am SO right there with you...it's somehow worse when they reject your attempts to 'make up' afterwards...that's when I know I've upset him & I NEED to find a way to stay calm! If I had time to read up on techniques it might help, but I'm so tired...which is probably why I have no patience. Twink still doesn't talk, & _may_ have hearing problems so I ought to be extra patient as he can't explain things to me, and might not even be able to hear me asking things...but I'm not...I just want him to tell me what he wants and listen when I talk...which now I've written it, sounds absolutely ridiculous as he's non-verbal & may have hearing problems...sigh...if you find some more patience, please let me know ;-)

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  2. I think we all have days and weeks like that with toddlers, but the guilt you feel is no fun. Completely agree. I also do find that I have to keep reminding myself that she is not doing those things to upset me, she is just being a toddler. Found you on BMB and wanted to say hi. Look forward to hearing more from you.

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  3. Thanks ebabeelikes. I was thinking about writing a blogpost about this subject this morning... looks like I've already done it once before! My annoyance this morning is directly linkable to my late night last night. I have only myself to blame!!

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