Tuesday, 13 July 2010

See you tomorrow x

Although I am both employed and self-employed, I really consider myself to still be a full-time mum, who just happens to do a bit of work on the side. My toddler spends just one day a week in nursery, so the majority of the time, I'm on parent duty.

I think, therefore, and because I am happy to do so, that I can be forgiven for having the occasional bit of time off. The odd night away. It's almost bound to happen as my main group of friends are all still childless (although one is now very happily pregnant - about 4 weeks behind me). I've had a hen do this year, a wedding, a weekend or two away with my (now, award-winning) choir... and in two weeks time I will be having another night away as I'm working at a wedding in Kent and don't want the fear factor of driving down on the morning (imagine their photographer not turning up due to bad traffic!?!).

It doesn't happen that often, and usually I'll see my boy on one day, stay away for the night and see him again the next day. He always stays at home with daddy, so is in perfectly capable hands (although, oddly, injuries always seem to occur whilst I am away) and is more than happy. But I am still worrying about it a little. Not enough to give up my time off. No chance.

This weekend, I left on Friday afternoon and got back in the early hours of Sunday morning. 1.30am to be precise. I think it was the first time ever, I'd not seen Felix for a whole day. I missed him. But I was also having fun and knew I'd be back with him soon enough.

He woke early on Saturday, didn't go to sleep well that night, and woke early on Sunday morning too (although the silver lining to this is that I got to see him sooner than expected and share a quick cuddle, before I crept back into bed and wallowed there for the rest of the morning). I've been a bit worried that his lack of sleeping may have been because he was worried that mummy had gone and might not come back.

There is no evidence that he felt like this and he's been sleeping badly for a few weeks, although not really waking early. I just feel a little pang of guilt and a little bit of worry that my absence might confuse him. With another full day without seeing him coming up at the end of the month, I'm wondering if I should try not to have anymore full days away for some time.

I am probably worrying unnecessarily, as always.

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