My labour of love

Having spent my entire labour on twitter, writing about each stage, it does seem a little ironic that it’s taken me over a month to get my birth story up on my blog.

Well, it started with my waters breaking. I was reading Felix his bedtime story when I felt a pop. Nothing else happened, not even when I stood up. I sort of expected a gush.

Eventually I felt some waters trickling out but not very much. Whilst mildly freaking out about what was to come, I ate my dinner and called my mum over to babysit. Then, I rang the hospital only to find out that they were closed to admissions and I needed to contact the other local hospital. Eek!

So we stayed at home and watched a bit of Michael McIntyre (laughing releases endorphins which lessens the pain, apparently) and timed contractions. Eventually we decided we should try to sleep, but mum was in our bed, so Paul got out the sofa bed and some blankets and dozed off whilst I closed my eyes. Contractions were around every 10 minutes so I didn’t get to sleep. But the rest was nice and twitter kept me company!

As contractions became more like 5 minutes apart, I rang the hospital again to find they had re-opened - wahoo! Grabbed another bite to eat and then we headed off, in the snow. I had a mild panic as the car wouldn’t reverse of our sloped driveway, but we got there in the end.

Of course, as soon as we arrived at hospital (around 3am), the contractions slowed down and became less regular again. And on examining me, the doctor couldn’t even confirm that my waters had broken. So at 6am I got transferred to a ward and Paul went home for a sleep. I would have loved to have got some sleep myself, but what with a contraction creeping up on me every half hour at the LONGest and the sound of newborn babies crying in the room, there was no chance. I may have dozed, but that was it.

At 11am, Paul, Felix and my mum arrived to visit. I was already missing Felix despite having put him to bed just the night before. I blame it on the emotions! He was a bit restless so mum took him away again and Paul stayed hoping we’d give birth soon. We started trying to speed things up by walking round and round the ward and even sideways up and down the stairs.

We got back to regular 5 minute contractions, although there was still the occasional longer gap. But I was having to concentrate on breathing through the pain. I enquired at what point I would go back to the delivery suite and the midwife explained that I’d be examined as I'd need to be in established labour (3cm dilated) before they could send me back. She also advised me that there was no gas and air until I got back to delivery.

Now I understand that they must often have people demanding pain relief before they really need it. But not me. By the time I was asking her the above questions, I really needed it already. I might have looked very calm, in control and without pain to her, but I knew I was getting there.

Anyway, I did as I was told, took my painkillers and got in the bath. I hated the bath. Maybe because of the stupid angle I had to sit at, but the contractions hurt way more and I got out after only two contractions.

On returning to the midwife (around 5.45pm) to ask for pain relief she said she would get me monitored before an examination - I was a bit narked by this as I KNEW I needed pain relief and just wanted to get back to the delivery suite as soon as possible.

I probably made them think even more, that I wasn’t too close, when I went and got a plate full of food. Well, I didn’t want to miss dinner time (seriously, I love the NHS food THAT much). I managed to eat most of my carb fest (pasta, creamed potatoes AND chips all on one plate) before the midwife arrived to monitor me. I did have to shout at Paul to take the plate off me a few times and hit GO on the contraction timer for me. ("Tray, ‘start’, agh, ohh, oooh, owww, etc.")

The midwife came and strapped me up. She witnessed a couple of these contractions and, I think, began to realise that I was further along than they’d assumed. Personally I felt sorry for the new mums in the same room, having to listen to me!

The baby’s heartbeat was fine so she got on with the internal exam but struggled to find my cervix. In the meantime I was contracting away, writhing around on the bed and sobbing. She finally found and pulled forward my cervix (I guess that was the bit that really hurt then?!) and told me, not only that my amniotic sac was bulging (i.e. waters had not broken) but also that I was 6cm dilated.

Hello. Established labour. WHERE’s the pain relief then?

Unfortunately, the baby didn't like what she'd done and his heart rate dropped. Significantly.

"I don't want you to panic but I'm going to pull the emergency button and get you straight onto delivery".

Panic? Me? No chance. I'm in immense pain and you're going to get me to the pain relief quickly. I LOVE YOU.

I remember worrying a bit that Paul would panic though. Anyway. Suddenly there were people everywhere wheeling me and my bed through the doors and into the lift. This is when I wrote my last tweet, at 6.20pm and handed my phone over to Paul to keep safe.

Back on delivery the contractions were coming back to back and I just managed to squeeze out the words "I want to push".

My delivery midwife told me to go with it if I wanted to push. But she also wanted me to move onto another bed which was near impossible at the time. Every time I thought a contraction was easing off and I tried to move another one came along and I was crippled over, head hanging off the side of my bed just sucking on the gas tube.

On top of this she also wanted to attach a probe to the baby’s head to monitor his heartbeat. I guess I was moving too much for the external fetal monitor to work - whoops! But likewise, as there was no let up between contractions, there was no way she was going to get to do it.

I have no idea where Paul was at this point, bless him, but he told me later he’d been really worried by my lack of cooperation!

Eventually I managed to crawl across to the bed and get almost into my preferred position. I had been half heartedly pushing all this time, partly because in the back of my mind, I was only 6cm dilated and didn’t want to do myself any damage, but mainly because I was in so much pain that I couldn’t control myself enough to push.

Finally in a decent position, sucking on the gas and air like my life depended on it, I began to regain control of my body and started to push properly.

Wow, did it feel different to my first labour.

Ok, so they think maybe my hind waters had broken, meaning the TOP of the bag broke and any water behind his bottom may have trickled out. But the fluid around his body and in front of his head was still there which made it feel like I was pushing out a bulging balloon of water. It seemed to be much harder work than my first labour where my waters had properly broken and I was pushing out a head instead.

All of a sudden they told me he was crowning. One more push and Elliot’s head was out. I don't think I believed the midwives so I put a hand down to feel him!! Clearly the gas and air had done something odd to me!

The next push seemed much more effort than I remember from my first labour too, but out he popped and, as requested, they put him straight onto my chest. Totally different to Felix being whisked away for prematurity health checks. I just held on tight to Elliot whilst trying to calm down and regain control over my breathing.

Elliot was born at 7pm, weighing 7lb 1oz. I think it’s quite normal to feel totally elated and proud of yourself after pushing out a little baby, but I have to say, holding him immediately afterwards whilst recovering from the shock, makes it the MOST special feeling in the world.

Baby Blues

So many posts to write and so little time...

I had the baby. Did you notice? I was on twitter (@InceyWinceyMum) from waters breaking on Friday evening until I was rushed onto the labour ward at 6.15pm on Saturday 4th December. Elliot was born just 45 minutes later and InceyDaddy had taken a photo and posted it for me 5 minutes later.

But we'll cover the birth story later. If I don't talk about the here and now, NOW, I'll miss out on it entirely. And there is SO much going on here and now as anyone who's ever been a new parent will understand.

Well the 4th day baby blues really kicked in yesterday. I think I got them on day 3 last time. But I was also forced to plug myself into a breast pump 8 times a day from the day after Felix was born, so maybe my milk came in sooner.

I could tell my milk was beginning to come in on Tuesday evening and on Wednesday morning, after another night of very little sleep, I just lay in bed crying. I wanted to stay there all day, try to sleep and cry some more. I was getting ready to give up. I just needed to sleep and then I knew everything would be better, but when breastfeeding, you can't just walk away from the baby for a few hours. Although I was beginning to consider the alternatives so that I could have those precious few hours to recuperate.

You see, the last time I slept properly was a week ago. Then, I spent a night in labour, a night on a labour ward with a new baby who slept, but other people's babies keeping me awake, then it was Elliot's turn to keep me up. And as he doesn't seem to be able to settle in his own bed (only at night, he's fine in the day), he's been in bed with me every night since. You just don't sleep the same when you have the responsibility of keeping a tiny baby safe in your arms. Deep sleep just doesn't happen.

He was still in bed with me last night, but I did finally sleep a little better. Maybe the tiredness got the better of me.

Therefore, even if the 'baby blues' wasn't a given part of having a new baby, I think I'd have been feeling pretty low yesterday.

On top of the lack of sleep, I also have this horrendous pain in my shoulder. I completely forgot about this for a few days (probably due to the quantity of pain relief I was taking) but my shoulder hurt before I went into labour. No idea what I might have done to it but it is, of course, getting much worse now I'm carrying a baby around and tensing up all the time! Even yawning makes it hurt.

And I miss my toddler. Now I'm back home and I'm with him, I still miss him. I miss him being the centre of my world. He seems to have reciprocated my lack of attention which means it's even more difficult for me to spend time with him when I'm available. At least he seems to adore his little brother.

This morning's little outburst of tears was the polar opposite... I lay in bed with my new baby in my arms and my toddler cuddled in next to me and I started blubbing because I'm so fortunate. I have two amazing little boys who I love very much.

I guess I shall just succumb to the emotional roller coaster of the next few days and look forward to everything settling down soon.

My name is Rachael and I am a Twitterholic

I got asked on Twitter if I wanted to be tagged in a meme about being a Twitter addict. I'd like to think that I'm not a full on addict, but I did find I was easily able to answer all of the questions asked in this meme... so I thought maybe I should give in and admit it is a big part of my life. I have been known to get a bit distressed if I haven't been on for a few hours.

The original Twitterholic post was by Kate at The Five Fs and I was tagged by Garry at The Blog Up North - so go have a read of their addiction admission posts too.

I do enjoy using twitter. I think for someone who spends their day alone, or in the company of a small person who doesn't speak (or I suppose any small people as the conversation is never quite the same as with an adult) it's a fantastic social tool. I think it has many business benefits (although my own use is personal with only the odd bit of business thrown in) and has helped keep me in touch with a PR world I've pretty much left behind. The idea of Kate's meme is that she has posed 5 questions. So here goes...

When did you join twitter?

Using bwitterday.com I can confirm that the date was February 4th 2009. Over 18 months ago. Eek!

Why did you join twitter?

My husband had already joined, he likes to think he's at the cutting edge of all things 'cool'. I'd heard bits and pieces and wasn't sure of the appeal of something that was "like the status updates on Facebook". But then Moyles started talking about it one morning on the radio and signed up that day. Does that make me too much of a Chris Moyles fan?

Anyway, Twitter is something you have to stick at for a while before it becomes your friend.

Who was your first follower? Who did you follow first?

My first follower was my husband, thanks love. My second was Stephen Fry. Slightly more interesting. And my third, an old friend from the PR world. So should I tell you all about my husband? Nah, boring.

I'm surprised to find that the first person I followed was actually Jonathan Ross. Then my husband, Chris Moyles and Stephen Fry. Again, not a lot I can tell you about any of them. It is fair to say that to begin with it was largely only celebs that I followed. I don't read celeb mags and have always been 'the last to know'... but not anymore. I'm way ahead of my friends finding out the gossip these days and usually in a far more accurate manner as I've had it straight from the horse's mouth (or fingertips).

I don't follow many people. I like to keep up to date with what's going on in my twitter world, and the more people you follow the more impossible this is. I'm not really using it to try to make friends so I don't feel the need to follow back. If someone's tweets look entertaining and like they might brighten an otherwise dull day, then I'll follow. If they stop tweeting regularly or get boring, I stop following. Some people might find this offensive, but it suits my usage.

Do you have any celebrities following you or have you ever had a DM from a celebrity?

Wooooh yay, chance to show off. As already mentioned, Stephen Fry follows me. In the early days I saw him asking that people who wanted him to follow them use a certain hashtag or phrase, so I tried it. And lo, the next day, I had a new follower! Shortly after this, he was talking about the Kindle and how it won't replace books when I challenged him and said that the DVD had replaced video, video had replaced that beta wotnot and CDs had replaced tapes (now CDs are also becoming a thing of the past). He responded to this, but not with an @reply, so although I will take it that he was engaging in a conversation directly with me, it could be that many people challenged him on the subject at the same time. Obviously, mine would have been the best tweet though.

Other followers you may have heard of include Annabel Karmel and Jamie Oliver. I do work for Jamie Oliver (sort of) so it's only fair he follows me really. When I did my first Jamie at Home party, I tweeted him to let him know how I got on (like he cares) and he tweeted me back saying "Well done babe...". I was a bit over-excited by this, mainly cause he called me babe. Ha ha!

Davina McCall has tweeted me a few times but has also sent me a DM. She reported that she was going to see Tap Dogs and I asked her when and told her which performance I was going to that weekend. Her DM simply said "me too, but don't tell". I didn't tell a soul (except hubby) until the day when I told my girlfriends that we had to keep our eyes peeled!

Have also had a couple of tweets from Sara Cox. I didn't favourite these (stupid) and am suffering from baby brain so can't remember what they were about or what she said. Suffice to say, I surprised her in some way and she responded with a real Cox-ism. Loved it!

If you could follow anyone (alive, dead, fictional) on Twitter, who would it be?

I'm not really one for answering this kind of question. But I'll have a good think for you. There are a few celebrities who it would be nice to follow if they actually tweeted themselves. Having official updates is handy for business, but twitter is a way to get personal with the public and it'd be great if they got in on the act.

Fictional - well, wouldn't Harry Potter's tweets be the most interesting read ever? There are a few soap characters who's lives are so full of drama I'm sure they'd be entertaining, although maybe a little too depressing? I don't really watch any soaps so I couldn't choose a favourite. Obviously I'm obsessed with the life of Elizabeth Bennet... but suspect her tweets would be pretty dull most of the time. "Practising the piano whilst Darcy's out shooting", "Reading a novel", "dining with neighbours this evening". Ok, actually I found those quite interesting. Twitter would certainly help to pass the time for her!

It would also be nice if some of my best friends tweeted as I'd feel a bit more in the loop with their daily lives. But then it's also nice to be able to vent about them somewhere knowing they're not going to read it. So bit of a double-edged sword, that one.

Which came first Twitter or Blog?

Easy. Twitter did. That PR friend I mentioned in my first 3 followers, @howard_jones, he did a #ff for me recommending that I follow Sally Whittle. She writes a mummy blog Who's The Mummy and it made me chuckle so much that I started to think about writing my own blog. I missed writing and thought it'd be a nice way to help me remember the early years of motherhood. I finally started the blog when I suspected I was pregnant for the second time. I wrote a pregnancy diary first time around for a friend who was living abroad and I liked the idea of doing something similar.

And here we are.

I am supposed to tag other people to take on this meme, but as I'm not sure I could call anyone I know a twitterholic (other than those of you who have already been tagged), I think I will leave it to you, dear readers, if you want to continue the theme. Do post a link to your meme here if you take up the challenge. And do try to keep it a little shorter than mine. I go on a bit, don't I?